Men of Redemption

Restoring a Life of Purity – One Day at a Time

My Question Is . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on August 5, 2015

my questionMy Question Is . . . .

“My husband is in recovery from years of watching porn. I want to support him in all his efforts but I don’t see any change in the behavior. As a matter of fact, I’m seeing the same behaviors of years past and chances are he’s still watching it. How can and do I let him know I want to see him set free form this?

First of all, you’re probably right, he’s still watching porn. When the mind changes and the heart is transformed the behavior changes. Depending on how long he has been watching porn, that “relationship” will feel to him like the first girl he ever fell in love with; he’ll never want to leave her! It’s not about the relationship, it’s about the heart and what he gives his thoughts and desires to. Since he has been in recovery, you might want to check out what kind of structure does he have in his life. What I mean by that is this: does he have a prayer life; does he spend time with God every day; does he have accountability in his life; and is he surrounded by men of spiritual integrity who will keep him accountable to every moment in his life. These are some things that are evident in the lives of men in recovery who are moving forward in their efforts. You also might want to encourage him to look into a support group that focuses on those characteristics with follow-up and follow-through 24/7. As for your support and encouragement, just continue to do just that, be there for him when the struggles are overwhelming but also you should look into getting connected with a support group for the wives of the husbands who struggle in this area because they are out there. These types of group will give you some understanding, some wisdom as well as some counsel in how to help your husband, as well as show you how to protect yourself, your family from the behaviors because sometimes they can get pretty outrageous and collateral damage is one of the consequences. So you’ll need some guidance and direction in supporting your husband if you truly want to see him set free. I sincerely hope this was helpful. Many wives get lost in the shame, the guilt and eventually end up being a co-dependent to their husbands. And this can happen on the other side as well.

 

 

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