Men of Redemption

Restoring a Life of Purity – One Day at a Time

What’s On Your Mind?

Posted by Men of Redemption on August 24, 2015

your mind“I’m doing very well in my recovery. My life is changing for the better and I have some structure in my life. I’ve been wanting to share disclosure with my wife but when is it a good time to do that?”

This seem to be the topic most couples are extremely concerned about because it involves sharing and disclosing all the things that we’ve ever done to them, mind you, all that we can remember. Yes, eventually you will need to make disclosure with your spouse but don’t be in such a hurry to carry it out.

DISCLOSURE: the act or an instance of disclosing; exposure; revelation.the act of disclosing.

When desiring disclosure, keep in mind there are two components that need to be in place; consistent sobriety for at least a year, and the emotional, spiritual health of the both of you. Those of us who are having somewhat of a pattern of good success in our recoveries tend to “feel” good about our efforts. We believe that this is the time to “spring” this moment onto our spouse. But we need to be mindful of the fact of asking ourselves have I grown and progressed enough; have I allowed the transformation process to resonate in my life; and is my relationship with God moving toward becoming more in tune to hearing His voice for guidance and instruction. Then, on the other hand, you have to look at your spouse and see if she/he is or has received help in understanding what has happened to them because of our behaviors and actions against them. Are they strong enough, emotionally, spiritually or mentally to receive your confession. Most of the time our spouses are not ready, especially if you have not been in recovery for any length of time or have had sobriety for less than a year. How can you tell if your spouse is ready or healthy enough to receive your disclosure? Encourage her/him to seek out some help or ministering with a mentor, support group, even pastoral assistance. This will help bring some peace and understanding into what you’re going through and how you’re doing it.

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