Men of Redemption

Restoring a Life of Purity – One Day at a Time

A Writer’s Thoughts On . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on March 21, 2016

Writer's thoughts



My thoughts on . . . . Staying True to My Words.

During my times of mentoring and working with men in recovery I have discovered a common theme with the majority of them when it comes to their relationship with their wife: there appears to be a problem where he doesn’t follow through with what he says or claims he will do. I realize that he’s trying to work out some things in his life by putting in some disciplines and structure where there was none, but it seems that he doesn’t follow through with what he tells his wife he will do. One of the things I’ve learned in my own recovery from my wife is that as husbands are in recovery they (wives) “believe the behavior, not our words.” And even looking at my own recovery I can, and have seen that to be true in all aspects. I remember so many times where I’ve told my wife I will do this or do that, I’ll handle that thing or situation and never followed through. Sure, the words that I told her sounded convincing, sounded authoritative and meaningful, but they mean nothing when I don’t come through with my actions to follow.

Putting action behind our words help bring security and understanding to our wives so that the symptoms of discord such as doubt, confusion and resentment don’t take root. By staying true to our words, we show our wives that what we say will come to pass, that we mean what we say and our actions (behavior) will convince them we mean business. I share with the guys how important that is and what dividends it could yield in their marriage relationship but sometimes other things try to interfere with that process such as self-esteem, lack of confidence, and sometimes just plain ole shame and guilt. It’s a choice, and really it doesn’t have to be that way unless he chooses fo it to go in that direction. I believe sitting down with our wives, being honest and transparent about direction and purpose in what he is doing, and following through with his declarations, will bring peace and understanding to all his endeavors and his marriage.

Just some thoughts from a brother who has committed his life to helping men overcome the struggles of shame and guilt, and how they can develop structure and disciplines to help them maintain a life of wholeness in following through in what they say to their wives and everybody else for that matter. Just saying . . . .


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