Men of Redemption

Restoring a Life of Purity – One Day at a Time

A Writer’s Thoughts . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on August 11, 2016

Writer's thoughtsA Writer’s thoughts on . . . .


Breaking Free From Your Past 

It one thing to break free from your addictive behaviors, the same behaviors that ensnared you, that placed you in bondage as a slave to fleshly desires. But it’s another thing when you’re chained to your past-and that’s from people, places and things.


Our past involves people who were involved in our behaviors that cause collateral damage to everyone in our sphere of influence. Those people could anyone whom we associated with while we were in our mess: friends, family, co-workers, church members. These individuals are the ones who knew of our behaviors, our struggles, our challenges, but couldn’t or wouldn’t help us find the help we needed because either we didn’t tell them we wanted help or because of the friendship and the lost of it, we kept it to ourselves. Regardless of our relationship, they knew something wasn’t right but their commitment to not acknowledge it and tell us we are doing wrong kept us tied or chained to them for as long as they know us. It’s like we were bound to secrecy because we didn’t want to lose the relationship or have it tainted because our behaviors. For some of us, those people are still in our lives today, and because of what they know and have known for years we are somewhat “chained” to them by allegiance.


When we look at our behaviors during that season of our lives we remember the places that we frequented on a regular basis-strip clubs, massage parlors, entertainment districts, and other areas where temptations are rampant. Many of us to this day still think about those locations but are too afraid to even step into that atmosphere ever because we know what it can do us should we do so again. But there are those of us who ponder, wonder and even daydream about what it like, the excitement, the challenge of getting away with it, and find ourselves still connected to those places mentally and emotionally. Really? It’s true! I talk to men who have shared that’s exactly how they feel, even though their in recovery but still have that “taste” like it’s never left them. Their still “chained” to those places. I’ve talked to men who are claim that they have no fear or problem of going back into those areas, though they say they won’t do anything bad or wrong, but they’ll go back just to see how that lifestyle is now that they’ve left it (physically). But in their hearts they are still connected, stilled “chained” to those places because the “taste” of it is still rooted in their minds and hearts.


I find that many of the men and women I talk to regarding addictive behaviors still have things that they’ve held onto while their were in their behaviors. These things can be gifts from men or women that they were not married to; still wearing the same clothes that someone else bought them; driving the same vehicle that was purchased by someone who enabled their behaviors to continue. These are just some of the “things” that many individuals in recovery are still connected to. Having these things creates memories, bad and sad in most cases, and who wants to have memories like that if you’re trying to move forward in your life, your recovery and in your marriage? When we hold onto those things, we bring them into our marriages and just tell our spouses “Oh, this was a gift a friend gave me years ago.” But do we tell them the truth, that it during that season when I was in my mess! No, we don’t. And if there has been some truth, some disclosure in our marriages, our spouses don’t want anything in our marriage relationship that will remind her or him of when we were in our mess or our behaviors. That’s not moving forward, that’s going backwards, and eventually that’s where we’ll turn up going if we continue to stay connected or “chained” to these things.

If those of us who are recovery have a made a conscious decision to repent (meaning turn from our behaviors and turn to something new-God!), then we ought to rid ourselves of anything and everything that will remind us of our past. Our past is exactly that-it is the past and in the past. Let it go and die. There is nothing in my past that I want to keep alive or hold onto because it and they will remind me of the past. I need, I desire to eradicate all things, let go of all relationships, and never return to places I use to go to in my past. That life is dead and gone! I have a new life now. I am a new creation in Christ Jesus!

Just some thoughts from a brother who has overcome that addictive lifestyle, now living and actively walking in purity and freedom set free by the love, grace and mercy of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And my desire, my goal and my purpose is to share, to declare and bring that very hope that set me free to every man and women who desires the same. It’s free to all who seek it. All you have to do is go after it and not listen to the lies of the enemy of our soul who doesn’t want you to discover who you really are because he knows once you find out who you are in Christ, his time of tormenting you, ensnaring you and keeping you in bondage is over. Just saying . . . .

“What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not! Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness.”  –   ROMANS   6:15-19


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