Men of Redemption

Restoring a Life of Purity – One Day at a Time

A Writer’s Thoughts On . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on July 6, 2017




As I work with men day in and day out, I count it a tremendous blessing that they have chosen to allow me and our leadership team to walk this journey with them. It takes a lot of courage, trust, relationship development to allow someone to enter into the lives of men who sincerely want help and guidance in leading them to a healthy life of sexual purity. I know this because I was once in that same boat, looking for help, any help, that would direct me in getting the help I needed to escape, to rid myself of these demonstrative behaviors. Believe me, I looked everywhere. I’ve talked to people. I’ve listened to others tell me where to go, some literally telling me where I need to go when I shared with them why I’m asking. I’ve had people tell me one thing and others tell me something totally different, but whom was I to believe. I even got so disappointed that at one time, and it was only for a moment, I felt like “I can’t find any answers so I’ll return to my mess and deal with it the best way I can!” That was an easy choice, a safe choice for me, but I was only fooling myself.

As I began to search for more for help, my dilemma brought me back to thinking about the children of Israel, as Moses and Joshua were leading Israel from Egypt and into the Promised Land. The Promised Land was a chosen place for the people of God, Israel, already prepared for them, but they needed to prepare themselves to walk into what God had promised them. God was going to be with them but their hearts were not with God. I look at some men who are struggling with addictive behaviors, regardless of what they might be, and how their approach is so similar to Israel’s mentality and mindset. The Lord tells Moses to send out 12 spies to spy out the land and bring the report back to him(Numbers 13). After 40 days, they come back with two reports instead of one. One report said about how fearful and enormous the people and the land are, the military and all of its power. The other report speaks about how the land is ready and primed to take over, and with God leading us we shall surely can have the victory. The first report was from 10 of the spies and the other was from the leaders, Joshua and Caleb. I share this story because working with men in recovery has the same dynamic cultural mindset as Israel did.

Men who are struggling with sexual integrity come into a support group setting with a fearful and uncertain mindset, trying to figure out if this is the direction that they should go. Many of them, after numerous counseling sessions, therapy sessions and all other helps that led them to us, are unsure and skeptical about the help offered. But what are they SEEING? What are they looking for? I cannot assume what they’re looking for because I don’t know what’s in their hearts, what their mindset is, or if they really want help. Assumption has no place in recovery! All I and our leadership team can do is present the curriculum of what we’re doing in our group, let the SEE how the curriculum has and is changing the lives of the men in our group and what it’s going to take to maintain that walk of freedom. We do share with them that the struggle will always be there, and that begins with a choice, and that choice is based on what they SEE in us through the struggle, not the struggle itself! What’s the key to SEEING victory amidst the struggle; what’s in your heart and what are you believing God for. Even when guys have tried a number of support groups over the years and can’t seem to find that one group that will put the in position to overcome and get victory, if they’re heart isn’t in the right place to receive, and they’re faith isn’t in alignment with God and His Word, so they’ll continue to seek groups that will only give them what they’re after, and that’s whatever’s in their hearts. Once the heart is aligned with God’s Word, and they become obedient to His leading, receiving from the right group will only allow them to flourish and began to walk in their new freedom. But what about those who choose to not accept guidance and understanding of recovery, and continue to struggle? Like faith, it is and always will be a choice. And until a brother or sister makes that choice to fully commit to a program, a curriculum that they believe in, the healing process will not begin. Like Israel, some guys end up returning to their mess, wanting to go back Egypt and feel they were better off in slavery. I believe the fear of not SEEING freedom,  having to go and fight for it distracts men from receiving what God already has for them. Walking in freedom really scares some men because they don’t know what it looks like. That’s why it’s so important that as leaders, we have to let our lives, our speech, our countenance, and our hearts exemplify our healing and walk in that healing for others to SEE that example. Yes we all struggle, and will continue to struggle until Jesus returns. But if we keep our eyes and hearts aligned with God and His Word, we will SEE our Promised Land(Walking in Freedom), and they’ll not only know the struggle is real but that they can overcome if they SEE their victory through God’s eyes and not their own.

Just some encouraging thoughts from a brother who is walking in daily victory and freedom because I have, and continue to keep my eyes, my heart and my mind aligned with God and His will for my life. I pray that that those of you who are struggling would consider seeking the Lord God, Jesus Christ, and allow Him to bring you out of your struggles so that you, too, can and will begin to walk in freedom.



One Response to “A Writer’s Thoughts On . . .”

  1. Joel said

    I really like the analogy made to the report of the Promised Land. I’m just entering into freedom in my journey, and God really has graced me with a solid hope that it is available. I’m very grateful he’s so kind as to put “a good report” in my heart!


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