Men of Redemption

Restoring a Life of Purity -One Day at a Time

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    LIVING IN GOD’S LOVE, LIGHT, AND WISDOM  FROM THE BOOK OF EPHESIANS 5: 1-21  (The Passion Translation) “Be imitators of God in everything you do, for then you will represent your Father as his beloved sons and daughters. And continue to walk surrendered to the extravagant love of Christ, for he surrendered his life as […]


    GODLY CHARACTER OF JESUS’ SERVANTS  FROM THE BOOK OF 1 THESSALONIANS 2: 1-12  (The Passion Translation) “My dear brothers and sisters, it’s obvious that our ministry among you has proven to be fruitful. And though we had already suffered greatly in Philippi, where we were shamefully mistreated, we were emboldened by faith in our God to […]


    INSTRUCTIONS TO THE SINGLE AND WIDOWED  FROM THE BOOK OF 1 CORINTHIANS 7: 25-38  (The Passion Translation)  “Now let me address the issue of singleness. I must confess, I have no command to give you that comes directly from the Lord. But let me share my thoughts on the matter, as coming from one who […]


    FROM SLAVERY TO SONSHIP  FROM THE BOOK OF GALATIANS 4: 1-11  (The Passion Translation) “In a similar way, God has promised our ancestors something better, but as long as an heir is a minor, he’s not really much different than a servant, although he’s the master over all of them. For until the time appointed […]


    THE FAITH-REST LIFE FROM THE BOOK OF HEBREWS 4: 1-13  (The Passion Translation) “Now God has offered to us the same promise of entering into his realm of resting in confident faith. So we must be extremely careful to ensure that we all embrace the fullness of that promise and not fail to experience it. […]

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Archive for the ‘Articles for Men’ Category

Articles written with the intention to help men, educate and inform them about issues that trouble us as men;to identify characteristics of a failing marriage; to learn how to place structure and defenses in their lives from immorality, affairs, lust, sexual addictions, pornography and bring awareness, knowledge and wisdom to our situations no matter what we may be going through through the Word of God.


Posted by Men of Redemption on August 10, 2020


It’s enough that the enemy of my soul wants to distract me from moving forward in my recovery to reach my goal of consistently walking and living in purity and freedom from addictive behaviors. It’s enough that there are those who don’t want to see me advance in life because of the decision and choices that I made to allow God Almighty to regulate and order my steps in life. And it’s enough that there are those who don’t think that I will succeed in my endeavors to move beyond that life that I previously lived and be transformed into a new creation in Christ Jesus. But with all of that being said, I refused to be intimidated by this Covid-19 pandemic and live in a state of fear and intimidation.

For years I lived a life of being told and spoken over that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t qualify to be this or do that, and over the years it built up a mindset of uncertainty, unbelief in myself and had affected me in every area of my life. My decisions were not full of confidence and determination needed to feel good about anything I wanted to do. It was always what others believed I could do or wanted to do, and took their advice. But somewhere along the lines in my recovery God got a hold of that “uncertainty” and transformed that mindset and understanding of who I am and whose I am. No more did I trust in what others thought or told me what was best for me or their opinions of what I would do. Recovery has shown me that discovering who I am in Christ Jesus is essential, if not the most important fact I could ever find out about myself. Therefore, the doubt, the uncertainty, and the fears were dissolved and Jesus Christ is and forever will be my life and His intentions over all that I do. I did not know God then as I know Him now.

“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”  –  ISAIAH 41:10 

Fear or fears are not a part of my life anymore and they do not intimidate me as in the past. So what I experience with Covid-19, the Coronavirus pandemic all around me, is a part of life that I adjust to accordingly, comply with what is required of me, and speak to it as I speak to anything else that tries to overtake me or cause harm to my being, family or anything that is within my circle of influence. I call it for what it is and I rebuke whatever intentions it tries to envoke upon me. I belong to the Creator of the Universe, the Giver of Life, the Sustainer of my soul, and He protects me no matter what I experience, go through, or comes against me and mines. I’m still following through in all of my recovery efforts, not wavering to the left or right, still focused on moving forward. Yeah, I realize and see the nature of what’s happening around me and the seriousness of it. I also recognize the consequences of those who are disobedient or are in rebellion to regulations to survive or maintain a life of healthiness and not leaning to my own understanding. In Christ Jesus alone will I submit my entire being to His leading and guiding of my life, and that does include trusting Him without fears or intimidation. So no matter what happens around me, any changes that I may have to implement along the way, I won’t be intimidated or fearful of what I see or don’t see because I know my Father God, KING Jesus Christ has my back and protecting me through it all.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”  –  2 Timothy 1:7

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Posted by Men of Redemption on August 3, 2020


It’s been approximately four months since the quarantine, shelter-in-place, 6ft social distance, now daily mask-wearing protocol has been implemented into our daily lives. If you would have asked me at the beginning of the year what do I think the year 2020 was going to bring me, these things would have been number 1,000 on my list because I never would have dreamed anything like this. This is different, strange, entirely uncomfortable to say the least. And seeing people in masks, avoiding closeness of touch or conversation, is in itself a scary concept but it’s the reality I’m living in right now. So am I afraid, discouraged, or even angry or frustrated? No, not really. I’ve lived on this earth for a little while now and some things have frightened me but this, no, this is life as I know and I have to face it every day that God gives me breath because I know He protects me and covers me with His love, grace, and mercy. Yes, it’s my reality right now, and until it changes we will address each accordingly.

With all of the changes that are being implemented, almost on a daily basis, I always keep in mind who I am, whose I am, and my purpose for my existence. I don’t, and will not allow my environment or the things that I have no control over dictating how I’m living my life. I do understand the situation and the urgency of all matters because it requires some adjustments. The State government has made it clear that changes will be suggested to accommodate the new protocol we are facing and I sincerely get that. So as I’m making these adjustments I’m keeping my focus on my recovery, my goals, and my purpose in life. Change has been very intentional and transparent but nothing fearful or degrading. And as long as these changes can continue in that manner we can become friends for a while.

A lot of the changes that I face are relational in every way. My friends and acquaintances are still in place and are more aware of present conditions more assertively than usual. I get that and encourage that. But as long as we can talk about it, understand one another’s observations of everything that is going on, and respect their opinions and input, it will make all lives easier to get along with. I’m trying to do my part to listen to others, hear their hearts, and their struggles without offering advice or telling them how to fix it. I realize that people just want to be heard, for someone to just listen without condemnation or pointing out their faults or misunderstandings about everything that’s going on around. The information out there that’s circulating changes like the wind so everyone is getting different perspectives and the facts can be misleading from prominent sources. I’m seeing a lot of people lose their jobs because their positions have become obsolete, the businesses they work for have shut down with no future return insight. I see that hope has fainted in many hearts over this pandemic and desperation has become a reality for some. And the government assistance programs are late in getting so many people the financial assistance they need to survive and take of their families and responsibilities. But people are surviving, and they are doing what they need to do to survive without breaking the law or going to extremes of desperations. That’s what survivors do!!

So I pray daily for people. I know God sees and knows the struggles of this world and what the real problem is, and it’s not Covid-19 or the economic systems of the world. I truly believe God has been trying to get our attention for a while now through the travesties, the cataclysmic situations that have occurred, and will continue to occur until we realize that we need to return back to Him in every way. I have to continue to do my part and keep the faith, trust Him through it all, and never sway to the left or the right. God is Sovereign, Holy, Omnipotent in all of His being. He’s calling for His people to come back home to Him, and we need to open our eyes and our hearts mostly.

“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayer made in this place.”   

–   2 Chronicles 7:14, 15

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Posted by Men of Redemption on July 13, 2020


As this Coronavirus continues to affect the human race throughout the world, I can see how the fear and anxiety of it all is changing the course of life as we know it. This virus has brought upon us the challenges of doing things totally different now: how we communicate with one another, how and what we see may not and could not be what it appears to be, and one crucial development – how we view and recognize our relationships with others nowadays.

My recovery is going well. My accountability is drastically improving as I have added to that core of friends, and that has been a good thing. But the one thing I’m noticing is that with all the talk about everything that is happening everywhere I’m discovering that some of my relationships seem to be distancing themselves a little more frequently than I want them to. Where has everyone gone? I haven’t gone anywhere so what’s up with everyone?

I truly understand the protocol in place: 6ft social distance, shelter-in-place, and quarantine order, I get it. But that doesn’t mean that those that I have a relationship with are not allowed to communicate with me. Is it the fear of it all, the changes that seem to happen daily for fear of isolation, or even abandonment to some degree? I can’t speak for those in my sphere of influence or the people I surround myself with, but I can say this: we can still have a relationship with limited access from a distance if we choose to, but don’t allow what the atmosphere of life is dictating to us because it involves fear, uncertainty, and a false presence of hope! I have continued to call, text message even uses of zoom video conferencing to keep our connection going forward through these difficult times. I’m not angry, upset, or even bothered, please don’t get me wrong. But I’m just acknowledging what I’m seeing around me and in others. The genuineness of the relationship is being questioned because of the widespread universal precautions that all of us face daily with this virus. It has caused people to re-evaluate their relationship and connection with one another. The individuals themselves and what created that relationship hasn’t changed, just the awareness of a contagious and infectious virus has become a part of life and we need to be cautious and preventive in the way we see and receive one another. I’ve spoken to several friends, co-workers, family, and acquaintances regarding this topic and they seem receptive and understanding in acknowledging what is happening. It is also somewhat difficult for some because of various medical concerns or issues they’ve experienced from their past or from what they’ve observed from people they know who have experienced some type of virus before. And there is nothing wrong with being highly sensitive about this because they’ve seen first hand what the results can be if not doing everything they can for prevention.

So as I previously mentioned, my recovery is going very well and my structure is still intact thriving with consistency. I’m continuing to remain focus and staying true to my commitment to healing and purity. I just have to talk these things out and acknowledge what I’m seeing and experiencing because I don’t want to get caught up in a theory or political discussions involving around when this virus might be over of modifying the government suggestive orders to accommodate returning to some sense of normalcy. I know that there is no sense of normalcy or will ever be. I don’t want to go back to what was normal. I didn’t like what that looked like, especially with the changes that have taken place these days. Relationships are changing daily with new awareness and challenges where we must learn to adapt and being mindful of our choices as well as our thoughts during these times. The genuineness of a relationship can still succeed if we talk about it and voice how we feel about change and adaptation in a good way.

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Posted by Men of Redemption on July 6, 2020

THE CHALLENGES OF BEING QUARANTINED AND LIMITED MOVEMENT Let the Pandemic Be a Wake-Up Call — and Take Control of Your Health

It’s been a little over three months now with the government ordering us to be “quarantined” to our place of residency. This means, or as the government indicates it, “staying at home and not leaving unless it’s absolutely necessary or there is an emergency.” Ok, so I can’t leave the house or go anywhere unless it’s essential to the survival of my existence. Alright, I have complied and have not displayed any resistance to any order and have remained in compliance. I realize what’s happening around me, around the nation, and the world, and these orders and instructions are warranted and crucial to all of us in the prevention of not catching or spreading the virus. I’m good with that. I’m still alive, in good health, and so is my family. I have a lot to be thankful for. I pray every day thanking the Lord God for His protection over me and my family and others. I do work and have been during these critical times, something that many Americans have not been able to do. Many have lost their jobs, their sense of security and livelihood, and affected so many in so many ways. But I think and believe what’s helping me get through these difficult times is being able to have people that I can talk to and about how and what I’m feeling. My wife and I spend considerable time talking, sharing, and debating the effects of the pandemic and how it’s affecting our lives, family, and relationships. These conversations have been relevant and very transparent. I have had feelings of isolation, not being able to be in the presence of family, friends, acquaintances. And with limited movement when I can leave, there are boundaries and parameters in place set by the government where I’m limited in having access to people, businesses, and even basic essentials of life.

Looking at this from a recovery standpoint, this would be exactly what I need as I continue to move forward in my own recovery. The keywords here, boundaries and parameters, are critical to the success of my and any man’s or woman’s recovery efforts. I believe what scares many people in recovery is that with these changes in life that are beyond our control, we are not prepared or expect these changes to happen so quickly because we wanted to pursue them at our own pace and not be forced to make them as is the case now. I’ve learned that in recovery when change is needed, oftentimes, we tend to want to slow down or even wait as long as possible before implementing any changes to our behavior. But when we are encouraged, when are forced or have no choice, then the fear and anxiety of change dominates our thinking and emotional state of mind, and make it hard for us even to desire change.  I’m grateful that I’m further along in my recovery where that is not prevalent to me or my perspective. I’m learning and continue to learn that despite what’s happening around me, I can still do my recovery during these times of despair and confusion. I’m focused and I know who I am and what my purpose is in life.

As COVID-19 Slams into Black Communities Many Question: Where's ...Although being quarantined and have the limited movement, I have not and will not be moved emotionally or mentally by the stresses and confusions that I see daily in people around me. There is a reason why these are happening, but the pressures of reacting negatively or positively are a choice for every one of us. As for me, I am content in who I am, what is happening all around me, and around the world, and I will continue to trust the Lord God Almighty through whatever and how long this pandemic will take or last. God is in control and He is my fortress, my strong tower of refuge. He has protected me thus far, and I have no doubt that He will continue to protect me and my family through it all and even thereafter.


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Posted by Men of Redemption on June 29, 2020


My recovery is going very well these days with the coronavirus flexing its intention all around me. One thing I am not, and that is fearful and afraid. As long as I continue to do what is asked of me, ordered of me by the government and not rebel in any way, and most of all trust in the Lord God Almighty, I believe my chances of contracting this virus will be slim and none. I do understand the preventive measures that are asked of me and they are very elementary. To help prevent coronavirus infection, I do the same things I do to avoid the common cold:

  • Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and warm water or with an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.   
  • Keep your hands and fingers away from your eyes, nose, and mouth.   
  • Avoid close contact with people who are infected.
  • Clean and disinfect surfaces you touch often, like tables, doorknobs, light switches, toilets, faucets, and sinks.

This past week has been eventful, to say the least. I’ve been making my required phone calls, staying in direct communication with my accountability cord, and those I have chosen to surround myself with. My thoughts have been all over the place, wondering how long will this pandemic thing continue, how much will I have to adjust to changing this and changing that, and when will I have to stop wearing this mask! These are some questions that flow through my mind daily and there doesn’t appear to be any answer on the horizon anytime soon. I’m not angry or frustrated, just concerned whether or not this is the way it’s going to be. I continue to stay aligned with connecting with my support group, logging in on time, and participating honestly with the entire group. The guys seem to like it and I enjoy seeing them since we don’t get that privilege anymore. So my recovery is going strong, the structure is solid and continues to strengthen all areas of my life.

I am making myself very aware of all the changes and protocols relating to the coronavirus by listening to news reports, reading related articles, and watching documentaries on the effects and causes of what the virus is doing everywhere. I make it a point to keep myself in complete communication with my involvement and interaction while I’m at work, being mindful of touching, shaking hands, and sitting with co-workers, supervisors, and managers. My workplace is changing, and evolving into something that goes against the foundation that it was built on and that’s relationships with care. We haven’t gone away from it, just social distancing ourselves from members but it’s not the same.

My heart is well, and I am adjusting through life very cordially, safely and carefully. My recovery hasn’t been interrupted and everything I have in place is functioning at full capacity. I continue to pray for those affected by the virus and ask God to bring His peace to us during these troubled times. I have not lost hope in my recovery, nor do I think, feel or believe that what’s happening around me and throughout the world will deter me from moving forward with my goals toward living a life of purity and freedom.

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Posted by Men of Redemption on June 22, 2020

What the COVID-19 Pandemic Means for Black Americans - Scientific ... THE BEGINNING: WHAT IS THIS AND HOW WILL THIS WORK WITH AND IN MY RECOVERY? 

I’m in my recovery doing very well from my perspective. I’ve recognized some behaviors and issues in my life that I’m not proud of and have made the conscious decision to do something about it and get some much-needed help and support. I’ve connected with a support group that specifically focuses on my issues and it has given me hope where there was none. I’m connected to a group of strong God-fearing men who I’m surrounded with that I’ve learned and continue to learn to be accountable to with everything I’m doing. My marriage is healing and moving in a positive direction where trust is gradually being restored. And finally, I’m learning about who I am and what my purpose is in this life. I’m beginning to feel good about myself and the potential I’ve discovered myself and really loving life, how things are turning around for me. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, BAM!!! The world is hit with a virus that has traveled worldwide and has spread to the United States and eventually it’s way to my area. It’s all around me and there’s nothing I can do about it. So, what is this Coronavirus and how does it affect me and my recovery?

First, I needed to understand what this Coronavirus is and it’s effects on the human body. Coronavirus 2019-nCov novel coronavirus concept responsible for asian flu outbreak.

“A coronavirus is a type of common virus that can infect your nose, sinuses, or upper throat. There is no vaccine for coronavirus.”

WOW! Ok, so it has become a pandemic so I’ve learned that as I do what is necessary to protect myself and prevent myself from spreading it should I get it, I’m doing everything I need to do to stay in compliance with government regulations. I have quarantined myself, following the social distancing rules of contact with others, as well as not attending my support group or meeting with them at all. Now, that’s where I face a serious concern. Contact with my accountability cord and face-to-face communication is a part of my recovery and now I am not allowed to do that because of this virus. I’ve contacted my group leader and sought out his guidance as far as what are my options and how does this affect my participation with our group and my recovery. He explained to me in detail how these changes are going to work and I didn’t see it at first, but as I learned to accept and adapt to these changes I transitioned into this  “New Format” and it became a smooth transition. He also explained to me that we’ll be utilizing online capabilities (Zoom/Conference Calls, Google Hangout teleconferencing options). It was new to me because there is nothing like face-to-face accountability for guys in recovery. I get it! So for the last several months, it’s been this new experience of doing group online where we utilize our computer, tablet, IPad, or whatever social device we have that is compatible to what is being used. And so far, everything is going well and the adjustment has been very positive with everyone involved.

So this was my beginning with COVID-19 and doing recovery, trying to improve and gain some structure in my life. I still have questions but I’m learning that as I continue to gain some understanding about what is happening around me the better equipped I am at adapting to change and what’s coming. There really hasn’t been any negative effects on my recovery thus far, only that I must remain aware of anything that may happen that will require something of me that I’ll have to adjust too. That’s not a problem because that’s primarily what recovery is all about.

I want to chronicle weekly about my journey in recovery with this virus with the intention and hope of bringing some light and understanding as to helping others who face the same things I’m facing on a daily basis. I see where it can get stressful and just wanting to give up on recovery all together with everything that’s taking place. I pray that as I share with you my journey and how I’m dealing with this pandemic you will gain an understanding that this virus can and will work on our behalf, and still accomplish the goals of recovery with a life centered around purity and freedom through a foundational structure of hope and the Word of God.

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Success Blockers: Fear and Doubt – Don’t Give Them Life!

Posted by Men of Redemption on June 2, 2020

All of us have goals in life, things that we would like to accomplish, expectations that we want to meet to have a successful future. We want to have a good job, money in the bank, set up a nice retirement fund for life after employment, make sure the kids are taken care of after they leave our homes, etc. Sounds like your plans? But how many of us reach those goals or plans? What stopped us from attaining those reachable attributes of success? Well, it could’ve been dozens of reasons but there are two that come to mind that secretly take refuge within our minds and hearts: FEAR AND DOUBT.

The lie that Australia is the place where 'everything wants to ...FEAR
If there is anything that hinders us the most, it’s fear. Something about fear just takes control of our hearts and minds with such intimidation that we bow down to it almost every time. When we set our goals we feel productive, ready to go, ready to tackle the challenges of doing something that’s going to make life better for us. But as soon as a challenge, struggle, or pitfall comes along we hesitate, we stop and begin to think we should stop right there. If we had counted the costs of our goals, the unexpected “pot-holes” of life that come alongside moving forward, we would have prepared ourselves better and began to deal with them as they come. But we tend to “freeze up” when a door is closed in our faces. When the unexpected shows up we don’t stand up and face the challenge of what’s next for fear of rejection, being turned away, or turned down. We don’t want to face that part of life because many of us can’t handle rejection so we run from it or go somewhere and hide until it disappears or not show up again. Or even some of us are so passive, like a turtle we’re afraid to come out of our shells for fear of intimidation or exposure to reality as the way things really are. No, it’s not that I’m knocking anyone regarding fear because it may have a lot to do with other concerns such as family upbringing, past negative encounters with the wrong people, or it could be something more traumatic where a person’s life may have been affected through life or death situations. Anything! But what we’re trying to understand about fear is that this is not the way God intended for us to live our lives. As children of God, He has given us all the protection and guidance we need to live a holy and prosperous life according to His will. If we allow Him to establish our steps in life, He will lead and guide us unto all truth and understanding. This is a gift from God that promises us successful living according to His Word, the Bible. He gives us peace during those moments of uncertainty as well as blesses us with comfort in knowing that he’s loving us all the way through it until our goals are accomplished.

“Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
-2 Timothy 2:6, 7

Doubt Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | ShutterstockDOUBT
Doubt makes us question our thoughts, the way we think about things, and second guess ourselves. We start out with a plan and we’ve appeared to have done all our homework as far as crossing the I’s and dotting the T’s. Then we hear something, or something triggers our thinking and we ask ourselves “Did I really do that? Or I wonder if I made the right decision?” A lot of times we put our minds into knowledge-overload into and think too much on certain plans. We mean well but we tend to over-think and under-estimate the very thought process of our abilities; we begin to lack the abilities we have because we see others succeeding and we’re not, and the very thing we want to do is go back and try to re-think of another way or another plan to do what we set out to do so that success can come a little easier for us because someone else is moving faster than we are. Or maybe even past failures in previous attempts in life have gotten you burdened down and you don’t have the passion, the desire, the confidence to go forward because things didn’t work out previously. Doubt has caused so many of us to remain stagnant in our lives, let alone in our spiritual walk with Christ. We lack the faith God requires in us to believe in Him and the things He wants to do in our lives. And faith is the essence of foundation in a Christian’s life. For if we’re full of doubt, our relationship with Him is in vain. Hebrews 11:6 tells us . . . “But without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” So doubt has no place in our lives whatsoever! The only way that doubt has dominion or power in or over us is because we allow it to have a place. But we don’t have to allow it if we choose not to allow it. We don’t have to second guess ourselves or be uncertain about the things in life. Yes, there may be some things that make us go “Hummmmmm . . .” but if we dwell on them and become confused, that we won’t even believe in our own abilities, doubt will continue to reign and dominate our passions and desires. If we learn to trust God in our thoughts, our thinking, His Spirit will guide our understanding and make every situation clear and concise. If there is anything God wants us to learn, because He’s always wanting us to learn and improve ourselves, is He will get our attention one way or another and show us what it is that He is bringing out into the light. Let’s not doubt, and start trusting Him for all things and cast out all doubt and fear.

“But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.” -James 1:6

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Posted by Men of Redemption on March 8, 2020

Image result for surrounding yourself with like minded individuals Previously I shared with you a piece on who do you surround yourselves with while you’re in recovery. To bring you up to speed, I mentioned three “friends” who many of us like to look at as friends because there was one common motive in all three that I did not mention and that was selfishness.

The three friends: Influence, Control, and Concern – all had an agenda and it was based on how the individual who is in recovery wanted things or the “relationship” to orchestrate itself, which was only to the advantage of the one in recovery. He or she would have the understanding that these three friends were supposedly a part of their recovery structure, and that their purpose was to aid and assist them in any positive means necessary to help facilitate their recovery. Knowing their “friends” purpose and intentions, they would approve and regulate any and all needed assistance from their perspective.  Needless to say, this was and is not a good idea for anyone, man or woman, who is in recovery to have that much say so in how their recovery ought to go. Now, as promised, I’d like to share a different perspective, and I’ll use my recovery as an example, to bring some understanding and clarity to what recovery should look like when it comes to “friends” and their input or assistance.

This is what my recovery structure looks like. Accountability–>Prayer–>Church–>Support Group–>Mentorship. I know I mentioned only three previously but I did say I would use my recovery as an example. These are my five best friends as I move forward in my life. They are intrical parts in and to everything I do. I need them and they each have a purpose and always a positive intention.

ACCOUNTABILITY Image result for accountability in recovery charts

Without accountability, I can not complete or have any success in my recovery because of how vital it is to my livelihood. Accountability affects every fiber of my emotional and mental being. There is nothing I can do to get around it if I truly want to be transparent not only with myself but with others. For me, I have people who have agreed to hold me accountable for every word, thought, and deed I do and involve myself with. That really means there is and always will be time for a conversation about life, activities, thoughts, intentions, and anything that has to do with me. There are no restrictions or limitations on the contents of any conversation and I choose not to say when its okay to talk and I can’t decide when it’s convenient when I want to talk. This choice relieves me of entertaining negative thoughts of lying, deceiving, and manipulating others to hide or mask what’s really going on in my life that I may want to try to conceal.


Image result for PRAYERPRAYER 

Prayer protects me from the wiles and devices of the enemy who does not want me to gain the freedom from ensnarement and bondage because he purposely wants me to believe that God does not have my best interests at heart. Throughout my recovery, I’ve been attacked on all fronts with temptation, lustful opportunities to engage in former erotic behaviors that led to sinful and destructive outcomes. If I am not prayed up daily, asking God to keep me from all hurt, harm, and danger, I’ll be leaving myself open to any onslaught of demonic activity that will surely lead to an addictive mindset and eventually subjecting myself to spiritual wickednesses. I pray daily and many times during the day because I know my limits, my weaknesses, and I refused to continue in life without seeking God, His protection and comfort for me and my family throughout the day.


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Many will say and ask “How can or does the church have a role in your recovery when the church has nothing to do with what you’ve gone through?” On the contrary, it has a lot to do with my recovery! The church has never done anything to me personally that led me to do the addictive behaviors that I involved myself with over the years past. I attend church because one, I choose to go, and two, I need to around the body of Christ, believers, who are like-minded and like-hearted who can and will support me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I still need to grow in the spiritual context of my relationship with the Lord on a daily basis. This relationship with God does not stop because I’m in recovery, nor will it ever stop unless the Lord God calls me home. I choose to surround myself with people of God to continue my growth process in becoming the Man of God that He created me to be. There are no negotiations or limitations on if the church is good for me.


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I truly believe that every man and woman who is in recovery needs and should desire mentorship. Having someone who is full of wisdom and understanding, who has overcome some stuff in their lives through personal experiences is such a great teacher for me. To this day, I have several mentors whom I spend considerable time with that pour into me so that I can become all that I was created to be. Just because I’m in recovery doesn’t mean I can’t strive for excellence on account of my bad choices in life. I chose to surround myself with these men whom I admire, respect and acknowledge because they have shown themselves worthy of the calling to mentors others. They know my struggles, my life as it was and as it is now. They support me and encourage me to continue and excel toward the things which God has prepared for me regardless of what I’ve done. These men speak life into me and I receive it because I know that God is in these relationships. I don’t tell them I can’t or I won’t because that’s not the kind of relationship we agreed to. I chose these men because I don’t want to remain the same man I was before. I want and desire to be a new creation in Christ, and mentorship helps me tremendously in this process.

So, I hope and pray that I have given you a better perspective, or maybe brought some clarity and understanding to what recovery ought to look like. My recovery works for me and this is what I composed to make work for me. This is not the prototype for everyone in recovery, but it’s just an example of what a good, sound recovery can and should look like. I pray that you are encouraged and that if you are in recovery and you have something similar to what I’ve just shared, please, by all means, use what you can and sharpen yourself to become better in all of your efforts. That is my purpose for writing this piece, to grow you!


As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”   –   PROVERBS 27:17 



Posted in Articles for Men, Articles for Women | Leave a Comment »


Posted by Men of Redemption on March 2, 2020

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Your recovery is going well. You have a recovery structure in place. You’ve been consistent in all of your ways as far as doing the right thing is concerned. All of your relationships with others have been on the amends and forgiveness is manifesting its presence in your life. Now a quick question with all of that in place: Who Do Surround Yourselves With While You’re in Recovery? 

Yeah, that’s a pretty picture up there with all of that in place. Everything appears to look good, almost too good. So what kind of friends do you have around you to help you keep that structure in place? As we all know in the recovery realms, nothing is secure and lasts always. Our temptations most likely have intensified, and struggle to remain faithful and true to recovery can be a major challenge for many of us. Let’s take a look at three kinds of friends a lot of men and women surround themselves with, and it shouldn’t surprise most of us.

CIRCLE OF CONCERN Image result for circle of influences

All of us have friends we like to look at who we believe are concerned about us and how we’re doing in our recovery efforts. They are the ones who will let you know they are there if you need them. They will tell you if there is anything you need they are there to provide it for you. They are the ones who appear to always ask how you’re doing, is everything going alright in your recovery, and if you need something let me know. We all have them, and they really are a source of comfort when we don’t want anyone up in our face telling us we’re wrong or out of line, or letting us know we’ve done something wrong. These friends are the ones who maintain a relationship with us from a distance and in more ways, than none, most of us prefer these kinds of friends because they cause us problems or make us look at our recovery more seriously than we ought to.


These are the friends that most guys want in their recovery efforts because they are in control of their involvement. These guys are the one who just listens to us and receives instruction whenever we can give it. These guys don’t ever claim to be there for us but just the same will offer their assistance, mention to us that they are there if needed, or just give me a ring if you need something. Our reaction is “OK, I’ll call you if and/or when I need you. In the meantime, let me be for a minute and I’ll get back at cha a little later.” These guys just take instructions. They don’t want to be involved in our recovery any more than we want them to. This type of understanding keeps those relationships at a distance, but as long as we don’t connect with them everything appears ok and good for the most part. They will stay away as long as we tell them we’re good and all is well with us.


Here we have the guys who make the most difference in our recovery. These are the friends we surround ourselves with that actually bring change, negatively speaking, into our recovery. These guys desire and want to spend as much time with us as we will allow them to. Why, because they are all about changing, distracting, and making better what we already have in place. They will manipulate and encourage us to consider this and advising us that this or that that recovery effort isn’t really necessary if everything is going good. They will influence us into thinking and believing that they are absolutely correct because they know all the answers and we don’t. If they can influence us into changing our minds, and their intentions are to do just that, they will have us operating our recovery from their perspective and not our own that we’ve learned from the beginning. And before we know it we’ll convince ourselves that we don’t need to do all the things that got us to this point in life. We can do it without all this extra stuff because that’s where our mindsets will have become-tainted and confused.

Now, these “circle of friends” have their purpose in a lot of men’s and women’s recovery because most of them are weak-minded, haven’t matured in their recovery enough to recognize what real, true, and fortified accountability is, and what it looks like. If you have these types of friends and that kind of relationship with them, chances are that your recovery is not as effective as it may appear to be. It may appear like its good or everything is going well but in the inner lining of transparency and honesty, you are eventually going to fail. Stop where you are in your recovery, take a moral and transparent look at what you have in place, who you have in place, and see if everything is as real and authentic as it looks. If it’s not, its time for some changes and re-evaluation of some things, maybe a whole lot of things. So how is your circle composed? Which circle is in the middle and which one is on the outside? The circle in the middle is the one closest to your heart, the one that we treasure most. I’ll be back to share what good, healthy, and productive circles look like. Stay tuned my friends!

Posted in Articles for Men, Articles for Women | Leave a Comment »


Posted by Men of Redemption on February 16, 2020

For those of you who are just beginning your recovery, can I say something to you right at the start of your journey? Here we go: “You can achieve your goals in your recovery if you really want it!”

I say that with all honesty and sincerity because the journey you are about to embark on is probably the biggest challenge of your life to this point. The mental and physical sacrifices that await you will challenge your decision making. It will renew your thought processes and change your perspective on life, and it will transform a life of intentional addictive behavior into a life that’s completely turned around for good and with positive intentional purpose. I know that was a mouthful but can you stop and think about that for a minute? I’m talking about a life that was ravaged with sinful behaviors, an attitude that was purposefully intended for self-glorification, it’s all about me! Some have been living that way for years and that’s all they know, but if you’re at a point where you’ve had enough and said “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired” you’re declaring that I’ve had enough and I’m ready and prepared to do whatever it takes to get healthy. I truly believe there are three components I want to encourage you to incorporate into your recovery to ensure that success is obtained and your goals are achieved.

  1. Accountability
  2. A Recovery Structure
  3. A Support Group That’s Specifically Designed for your Issues
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Without these three components, your recovery and journey towards a responsible, healthy life of purity and freedom will be a struggle, and it will be difficult to overcome at any point until they are evident in your life. Over my years of experience working with men who fail to include these components in their everyday lives, over 75% have returned to our groups confessing that at least two of these components have been missing in their lives since they left the group. I’ve spoken to hundreds of men and that’s the common thread with most of them. I encourage you to truly evaluate your intentions, your goals, and what you really want out of your recovery. Don’t start this journey with no other purpose in mind other than recognizing that you have a problem and you want to get to the root of the problem. I will touch on all three of these this week to help bring some understanding, clarity, and guidance to this task.

Posted in Articles for Men | Leave a Comment »

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