Men of Redemption

Restoring a Life of Purity – One Day at a Time

Posts Tagged ‘integrity’

Change Begins from Within in Recovery

Posted by Men of Redemption on April 20, 2018



In Part 1  we shared about Conversation, how we talked and shared while we were in our “mess” and after a renewing and transformation of mind and heart. Now, we will take a look at Character. The question is . . . . Now that we’ve been in recovery for some time, who are we today? Has our personality and personal traits as a person developed or are we the same as we were when we were in our “mess?” How do you come across to people when you’re dealing with adversity, or when everything is going well? These are just a few questions we ought to ask ourselves as we continue in our recovery. We’ve identified some things that led to an improved conversation with a renewing of the mind. We’re thinking differently these days, focusing on building up ourselves and others with positive influences. But what about our character traits? What is character?

CHARACTER: the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing; moral or ethical quality: qualities of honesty,  courage, or the like; integrity: reputation; an account of the qualities or peculiarities of a person or thing.”

 While we were in our mess, our character was distorted, influenced by shame and guilt, therefore, we had a false pretense of who we really were. Whatever our issues were we hid ourselves so that others wouldn’t know who we were. To some of you who are reading this, you may think this sounds mundane or idiotic, but to an addict who has struggled with life and this very thing, this was exactly what life was like for him or her. Our integrity, our reputation was on display as evil, and that’s not who we are. Sure, we acted like that but we weren’t in our right minds nor were our hearts centered on goodness or peace. Now, we ought to have learned some things about morality, honesty and integrity. We ought to have had a change from within and made adjustments where they’re needed, and it starts in the heart. As Jesus was explaining to the disciples about the blind (Pharisees) leading the blind (Matthew 15:13-20) He also explains that our character starts from the heart and comes through our behaviors and actions . . . .


“Then Peter answered and said to Him, “Explain this parable to us.” So Jesus said, “Are you also still without understanding? Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.” 

So when we look at our character, take a serious look at our hearts because we ought to know what’s going on there. Nobody knows but us and God, and we certainly can’t fool God so we fool ourselves. We can’t hide behind anything or anybody. Our character is all about what’s inside of us because eventually whatever is in there is going to come out, good or bad.


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Regaining Trust While In Recovery

Posted by Men of Redemption on December 6, 2017

 BE REAL IN YOUR RECOVERY – HONESTY AND TRANSPARENCY ARE THE KEYS.Image result for honesty and transparency

I know in my own recovery these two characteristics were prevalent were at the beginning, in the middle and even more affective today. Even when I didn’t realize who I was, or didn’t even understand my purpose in life because of all the selfishness I allowed myself to thirst after, I knew if I wanted freedom from my addictive behaviors I had to adopt honesty and transparency as two of my closes friends. That was hard and difficult at first because I never knew what that looked like growing up in a home where there was so much lying, so much deception and the fear of ever telling the truth would still get me in trouble. That’s where I was back then. But thanks to the grace and mercy of God, I don’t have to live that way anymore! I had to learn that if trust was going to return in my marriage and all of my relationships that I had damaged because of my behaviors, I had to incorporate honesty in everything I decided to do and let my intentions be known to all. I then had to allow the transparency of my heart and desires to be revealed by communicating my feelings verbally with sincerity and hope, which was really difficult for me. But I did it! I desired it! I wanted it! I wanted trust to return in my marriage but I had to understand that I had to have things in place; I had to have a foundation that was built on truth and faith; and I had to allow God to heal my wounds of the past-unloved, lack of attention, self-esteem and fatherly love-and press through as God healed, comforted, renewed and transformed me into the man I am today. I made a conscious decision to move forward in that purpose as God gave me strength to step out in faith and trust Him to make it happen.

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Posted by Men of Redemption on May 16, 2017


Today’s Reading:

Job 2:1-10 . . . .

“Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them to present himself before the Lord. And the Lord said to Satan, “From where do you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking back and forth on it.” Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil? And still he holds fast to his integrity, although you incited Me against him, to destroy him without cause.” So Satan answered the Lord and said, “Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has he will give for his life.  But stretch out Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will surely curse You to Your face!” And the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your hand, but spare his life.” So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord, and struck Job with painful boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took for himself a potsherd with which to scrape himself while he sat in the midst of the ashes. Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

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Read Your Word This Morning?

Posted by Men of Redemption on March 29, 2017



WOW! How do you handle the challenges of your faith when you are tested in the area of faithfulness? So many times I find in God’s Word that many of the people in the Bible are challenged daily, the testing their integrity, their character, as well as their heart’s intentions to see if they will remain faithful to God in all they face in life. In Joseph’s situation, he stood the test, even to the point of going to prison. God had a call on Joseph’s life, and with purpose and intentionality. Joseph also knew and understood that calling. Looking at our lives today, with the way our society and culture has accepted immorality, these are the same challenges we face even with God’s favor and anointing resting upon us. The struggle is real people! How many times are we faced with the challenge of making a decision of remaining faithful in our daily lives? It’s truly a daily thing for many of us. I read almost daily about how so many teachers, leaders, people in authority such as politicians, executives, educators and pastors continue to compromise their positions in society due to careless choices and selfish advantage to further their own purpose or agenda. It’s happening on all levels and society has accepted it just a problem that someone can just go and see some counselor or treatment center for a couple of weeks and they are healed from their indiscretion. Whatever happened to just making a stand for righteousness, doing what God would want us to do, and being obedient to His Word? Doesn’t His Word mean anything to us anymore? Has the enemy made sin that much enticing that the Word of God has become like another novel of interest where we’ll read it if the title sounds interesting? God forbid! His Word is true and real, and His Word does not return to Him void. If we are truly people of God then His Word is our foundation, our purpose and reason for life, and we must remain faithful in all things, even to the very end of life itself. Our God is looking for obedience in His people, and just like Joseph, a people who will make a stand for holiness and righteousness despite the circumstances or consequences. What are you willing to stand for or do for righteousness?

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The Truth Regarding Sexual Addiction

Posted by Men of Redemption on November 15, 2016

Here’s some real understanding of Sexual Addiction. How it affects you, your family, your marriage and everyone around you. It’s that serious!!

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A Writer’s Thoughts On . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on March 2, 2016

Writer's thoughts



My Thoughts on . . . . Helping My Brothers in The Battle.

The Battle is real guys! I’m talking about the battle of addiction, and its ever-changing strongholds on men all over the world, especially the Men of God. I know it’s real because it had a hold on me, and almost took me out, marriage, family and life! But I’m grateful to the Lord Jesus Christ that He had a different plan for my life, and He brought me out of that battle. This battle I’m talking about, the sinful and addictive lifestyles of immoral behaviors, sinful living, integrity issues. Now you know what I’m talking about? Sexual Addiction! Yes, it’s a killer, and it has only one purpose, and that’s to get you, man and woman, hooked for life and serving the flesh. I came out of that because I made a conscious decision to trust God and His grace brought me out. But what about those brothers who are still in the battle, struggling daily, wanting and desiring to come out just like I did? Do I turn my back on them and just be thankful I got out? No Way!! When God brought me out of that battle, God touched my heart, transformed my mind, and commissioned me to help those who are still in the battle and give them what He gave me. Give them truth, share with them the process by which I brought you out and lead them unto victory as I have led you the Lord told me. It didn’t happen over night or in a few months. It’s happening daily, one day at a time. I have vowed to the Lord that I will spend the rest of life, as He gives me life, to help lead, guide and co-labor with hurting men who are in the battle who want freedom. I can not, and will not sit back, knowing how God brought me out, and watch men struggle, cry out, and come to the breaking point in their lives and not do something about it. I hurt for them, but I know they can get free from the strongholds of the enemy! I know this because I was set free!

I have been working with men for many years now, helping men become overcomers and winning the battle of sexual addiction, the struggle with integrity issues. It’s hard, and trying, but with God’s help, His Holy Spirit, and the right curriculum of support and guidance, every man can be victorious in their efforts to be set free. It’s a process that requires commitment, diligence and perseverance in all aspects of our being. We have to learn how to involve other men, men who have overcome and are walking in victory daily, in our lives for support and guidance. I have seen the love and grace of God work in so many lives and He continues to bring healing and restoration to their lives, and I am truly grateful to be in a position to help, to give back and bring others to where I am and are going. It’s nothing but the love and grace of God operating fully in our lives. Men are truly finding out who they are in Christ, and that scares the jeebies out of the enemy. But we need to keep helping these brothers in the battle because the fire and intensity is being turned up in life to astronomical levels where it’s harder to leave. But God . . . . He is the way out! We have friends, family members we know who are struggling in these areas, and we need to let them know that there is a way out. But we have to get out, have daily victory and consistently walk in that, then point them in the direction of help and support.

Just some thoughts from a brother who is an overcomer, whom God has transformed and renewed his mind to think on the things of God and allow His guidance and leadership to exhibit the Christ-like characteristics of victory in his life on a daily basis. I’m thankful, and I’m grateful for His healing power in my life. And I want to help other receive the same so that they too, can walk in freedom, daily! Just saying . . . .

“Now I, Paul, myself am pleading with you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—who in presence am lowly among you, but being absent am bold toward you. But I beg you that when I am present I may not be bold with that confidence by which I intend to be bold against some, who think of us as if we walked according to the flesh. For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”  –   2   CORINTHIANS   10:1-6 

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A Writer’s Thoughts On . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on February 12, 2016

Writer's thoughts



My Thoughts on . . . . Integrity.

What is it that you stand for? When I look at my friends, those that influence me, that encourage me to be a better man, those that want to see me flourish in the things of God, I’m excited to have them in my life because I know one thing is for sure: their integrity speaks volumes about who they are. I’m a big proponent of integrity because it says a whole lot about that person or those persons I choose to surround myself with. I look at everything about a person; what he or she says, what they stand for, what they believe and why, as well as how they conduct themselves in life. A person’s integrity is very important when it comes to determining friendship and relationship.


adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty; the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition.

Our integrity ought to proceed us in all that we do in life. Our conduct, how we think and our views on our comings and going all play a major part in understanding us as individuals. Knowing that a person is true to his or her beliefs, that their word is true and can be depended on is a good foundation they could stand on. Things that that would diminish a person’s integrity would be uncertainty in decision-making; lack in dependability; dishonesty; a wavering belief system; these things can be red flags when it comes to really knowing a person. Here’s what God’s Word says about integrity . . . .

“in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility.”  –  TITUS  2.7

Am I looking for perfection in individuals? No, but I am looking for positive consistency in all that he or she does and/or is doing in life. These qualities strengthens me as a person, a man of God and as a husband. I need and choose to surround myself with people who I can learn from, who can help me become more or better than I currently am. I don’t want to ever settle for just making it in life, being accepted as a mere average person who is surviving. I want to be all that God desires for me, and being around those who can help me get there is a plus in my journey to please my heavenly Father. This in turn, will be a light to others that they may desire a strong, true purpose to become more than just being a survivor as well. This will also overflow onto our jobs, in relationships, promotional opportunity, and also in developing perspectives for successful living and achievement.

Just some thoughts from a man of God who continues to pray, to encourage men and women to pursue the Lord God, Jesus Christ with all of their hearts for their purpose in life, whatever that may be, to move forward in that purpose with all power, victory and authority in Jesus’ Name. Just saying . . . .

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Some Encouraging Words . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on February 12, 2016

charles spurgeon

“In such an age as this, when there is so little sound conviction, when principle is cast to the winds, and when a general latitudinarianism, both of thought and practice, seems to rule the day, it is still the fact that a man who is decided in his belief, speaks his mind boldly, and acts according to his profession, is sure to command the reverence of mankind.”

Charles H. Spurgeon, on Integrity.

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A Writer’s Thoughts . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on October 13, 2015

Writer's thoughtsOn Accountability . . . .                                                            

One of my favorite words. I learned about accountability several years ago when I discovered I needed it in my life. I find that accountability is more than just letting people in your life and answering to them on a frequent basis. It’s more than telling people where you’re at and where you’re going. It’s more than making yourself vulnerable to others and including them in your personal and intimate life. It’s more than being transparent and honest about my daily business, whether I’m at work, at church, visiting family and friends, or even at home. I’ve discovered that accountability is all that I just mentioned and more. One of my favorite scriptures in God’s Word speaks on accountability to the tee.

“As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”  –  PROVERBS  27:17

Yes, accountability does put you in a position where people see you for who you really are, how you really think and feel, and how you handle life and everything that comes with it. WOW!! How many of you can attest to that kind of vulnerability? Not of lot of us, and that’s probably why so many of us lead double lives, some people seeing you one way and others seeing in another. Typical example is how people see you at home in the daily tasks of family living and then see you at church involved in ministry. Are you the same person with the same values at home as you show at church when ministering or sharing? Something to think about while you’re deciding about making yourself vulnerable and transparent because that’s what it’s going to take to be accountable. And to whom will you be accountable to? Here’s my list: my Pastor, my Spiritual Overseer, my Mentor, our support group leadership team, several spirit-filled men in my church. In all, approximately 20-25 men who I’m accountable to keep me honest, true, and encouragement in my decision-making and business associations. I need this in my life because without it, I’m prone to make mistakes and bad choices leaning to my own understanding which God teaches us about in His Word (Prov. 3:5). I don’t know if you have accountability in your life to help you become more than what you desire to be but it sure does make a difference in my life when I need someone else’s wisdom and knowledge when I can’t rely on myself. Just a writer’s thoughts, I’m just saying . . . .



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Accountability – Tool #2: Transparency

Posted by Men of Redemption on March 9, 2015



transparencyTOOL #2: TRANSPARENCY

Last week it was communication. This week we’re taking a look at transparency. How transparent you are in your communication determines the effectiveness of your communication. After you have surrounded yourself with God-fearing people, men for the men and ladies with the ladies, begin to develop being open about all that you share and hope to be accountable about. There’s nothing like a man who is truthful and honest in his intentions, regardless of where he is in life. Your integrity and ethics are clear signs of what and who you are, so you want to display them at all times as you engage and interact with your accountability partners. There should never be a question about your intentions, about what you really want to do or accomplish in life. Having those accountability partners to communicate with, and being transparent with, will assist you in building relationship with those who can and will assist you at all costs. Let those you surround yourself with see you for who you really are, and speak the truth always in love and without fear. you


“But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your “Yes” be “Yes,” and your “No,” “No,” lest you fall into judgment.”  – JAMES 5:12


Take a serious look at your intentions on life, your family, your marriage, your job, and see if you’re being honest and truthful about them. We ought to be the difference maker everywhere we are, not to complainer. Make them honorable, and purposeful, with true and integral compassion. Be who you are, an HEIR of RIGHTEOUSNESS!!

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