Men of Redemption

Restoring a Life of Purity – One Day at a Time

Posts Tagged ‘moving forward’

Recovery Quote of The Day!

Posted by Men of Redemption on August 9, 2017

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Recovery Quote For Today!

Posted by Men of Redemption on August 3, 2017

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WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION ABOUT RECOVERY?

Posted by Men of Redemption on June 20, 2017

MY QUESTION IS . . . .

“I feel I’m doing really well in my recovery group, as I’ve seen a lot of growth from where I used to be. It’s been nearly seven months of sobriety and I’m very encouraged as I move forward. Because of that growth, I’d like to have disclosure with my wife, sharing with her to know everything I’ve done to her in my addictive behaviors. Is this a good time to begin this process or should I wait?

Thank you for honesty and courage in sharing where you are in your recovery. That confession does show that you’re moving in the right direction. The answer to your question-WAIT. I truly understand your desire to be open and transparent with your wife, which is one of the goals we ought to pursue while in recovery, but we need to understand the sensitivity side of having disclosure. It’s good that you’re very proud of where you are in your journey, and keep up the good work. But seven months is not nearly enough time of sobriety to even consider disclosure. At this stage in your recovery you’re probably still working on some deep issues-trauma, hurts for the past, identifying those issues that have prohibited you from moving forward in life, as well as maybe some relationship concerns. I wholeheartedly understand you wanting to further the process of disclosure as you gain more confidence and healing in your recovery, but it’s also about understanding where your wife is emotionally, mentally and spiritually. If she has not received or have been receiving any support while you’re doing your recovery, that means that she’s still harboring that pain, that broken trust, with nowhere to turn or get help herself. Sometimes as men in recovery we can get so excited about our progress, but we tend to forget that the very person who was the recipient of the collateral damage we’ve cause with our behaviors was our wives. As we progress, we need to keep in mind our wives, what we’ve put them through, and all that they had incurred because of our problems. How do we do that? Communicate with your wife. Talk to her about what you’ve learned about what you’re struggling with. Let her know that you’re trying to understand the root cause of your problem so that it doesn’t happen ever again! Support her in helping her understand the process you’re going through in recovery. As you continue to progress, you pray that God will minister and send some God-fearing women who have been through this struggle to give her the support she really needs from a woman’s perspective. She needs to know that she isn’t alone and that this was not her fault. So waiting a while, I’d say at least a good year maybe a year and half depending on the severity of your situation, would be great time to take a look at disclosure and assess where you both are at that time. It’s not about when you’re ready-it’s about when YOU BOTH are ready. There is a lot more involve when considering disclosure. So again, I would wait and make sure your wife has had some support, healing, accountability and understanding before moving forward. Don’t be in a rush. It will only make things worst.

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WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION TODAY?

Posted by Men of Redemption on June 2, 2017

MY QUESTION IS . . . .

“How do I know if I’m in the right recovery group? I’ve been to a couple different groups and it seems like they are all the same. How do I know if the one I’m going to now is the one that’s really for me?

To find out if the group that you belong to is the best for you, look for three things that will assure you that you’re in the right place: Curriculum, Group Dynamics, and Accountability.

Curriculum –

What kind of curriculum are they using for the group? There are a lot of groups out there that use various books, studies, certain programs that are geared to support group setting. But I find that having a curriculum that is designed to help you identify and understand the root causes of your issues will work best. Some curriculums work with you and take you back into your past life to help identify the introduction to addictive behaviors, trauma issues, pains, and other issues that we have allowed to infiltrate our lives and lead to destructive behaviors. See if the curriculum addresses those issues, give examples, and then show you what and how you can begin to put things in place so that you can get healing from them and move forward in your life.

Group Dynamics –

Look to see if your group has consistent protocol and high levels of confidentiality. This is very important in selecting a good group for your needs and understanding. When looking at Group Dynamics, see if the group starts on time; does the Facilitator/Director have a vision, a mission statement for the group; does the group have purpose and direction; and with the curriculum it has and uses what is it that they are preparing me for as my healing progresses when I complete the curriculum. These things play a major factor in you understanding who you are in Christ, your purpose in this life, and what is God preparing you to do when it’s time for you to leave the group.

Accountability –

This is the one thing you should be looking for first and foremost. Without Accountability, there is no success in any support group without it! Besides the curriculum and the group dynamics, you need to know and see how accountability looks and works amongst the group itself in order in order to know they have it and it’s working successfully. Is there phone calls required? Do the guys have opportunity to engage in meeting outside the group if they choose to? Can you contact someone, a group leader anytime of the day or night should you need to due to an emergency or in case you relapse? And what type of relapse prevention criteria do they have to help you stay accountable and on course? All these questions need to be answered and considered if you are serious about your recovery and moving forward in life.

So if you are unsure about the support you belong to, ask yourself these questions and see if the your present group is giving you what you’re looking for in a group. If any of these are not present, maybe it’s time you consider looking for a group that’s addressing these concerns, with consistency I might add. These three areas are so important to your recovery that attending any group without them is surely to delay, even interrupt all progress made in a person’s recovery without fail. Looking at the very first support group [Jesus and His Disciples]; they knew their Curriculum(The Living Word), Group Dynamics(Follow Him, Pray, Transparency), Accountability(Being together, talking to one another about everything), this is what you should be looking for in a support group.

 

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RECOVERY QUOTE OF THE DAY –

Posted by Men of Redemption on May 22, 2017

“Don’t allow the guilt and shame from your past dictate how you’re to perceive your future. In Christ, you are a new creation so onward you must go and don’t look back!”

 

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Read Your Word This Morning?

Posted by Men of Redemption on March 31, 2017

DON’T ALLOW OTHERS TO DISTRACT YOU FROM YOUR DESTINY OR PURPOSE

 

Those of us who know our purpose in life can be easily distracted by those who have no purpose but to stop you from reaching yours. We all have people in our lives like that. We’re on a mission. We’re focused on moving forward in life. We have the tools necessary to build our future. Our momentum is in full gear. Then those that have every intention to stop or prevent you from reaching your goals or future and are right there in full force. Sometimes we don’t know who they are, and a lot of times we do. The strange thing about knowing who they are is they are those who know our story, our purpose and what we’re trying to do. You would think those that know what we’re trying to do would support us, would encourage us to persevere no matter the pressures of life or what would come against us. But in most instances that’s not the case. Maybe those that don’t want to see us succeed have a motive or an agenda to see us fail; maybe because they don’t have any dreams or goals for themselves; maybe they’ve been denied opportunity and didn’t have the strength or perseverance to fight through it; or maybe they just don’t like us for whatever reason. The one thing I do know is that if have a strong core of faithful and true believers praying and interceding for us on all fronts, we can achieve our purpose and all of our goals despite the distractions for others. When we are focused, determined, and trusting our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to see us through it all we cannot and will not fail. Keeping our eyes on Him, His plan for our lives along with trusting Him in the process will help us in all of our endeavors, even when we are challenged when we are called to the carpet because of what we believe or stand for. Whatever your goals in life are, whatever God has placed in your heart to achieve, remain focused and determined to carried that mission to fruition as you trust the Savior to see you through it to the end. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Don’t be distracted by others, for they have no place in your life, in your purpose or in your dreams.

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An Encouraging Quote

Posted by Men of Redemption on February 25, 2016

C. S. Lewis

“We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.” 

–  C.S. Lewis

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Recovery Tip For The Week

Posted by Men of Redemption on February 15, 2016

Road_Recovery

 

 

 

Tip For This Week . . . Stay Committed To The Process!

Being in Recovery, no matter what your issues may be, requires something of you that surely will take out of your comfort zone and that’s commitment. This will require of you diligence and purpose to move forward regardless of where you are in your journey. Most men and women, when they run into “potholes” or “bumps” along the their journey are easily distracted by them and tend to lose momentum in continuing with their progress. Depending on the pothole or bump, you will make a decision as to whether is this worth it to continue or should I press through and fight on. When you get to those points, and you will, stay focused, stay committed and persevere through it all. This will build your confidence, your desire as well as your intentions to reach your desired goal of walking in freedom. No matter what comes your way, know that you can and will overcome by staying committed to the process! I believe in you, and you will succeed!

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it.”  –  1  CORINTHIANS   9:24

 

 

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A Writer’s Thoughts On . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on February 12, 2016

Writer's thoughts

 

 

My Thoughts on . . . . Integrity.

What is it that you stand for? When I look at my friends, those that influence me, that encourage me to be a better man, those that want to see me flourish in the things of God, I’m excited to have them in my life because I know one thing is for sure: their integrity speaks volumes about who they are. I’m a big proponent of integrity because it says a whole lot about that person or those persons I choose to surround myself with. I look at everything about a person; what he or she says, what they stand for, what they believe and why, as well as how they conduct themselves in life. A person’s integrity is very important when it comes to determining friendship and relationship.

Integrity:

adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty; the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition.

Our integrity ought to proceed us in all that we do in life. Our conduct, how we think and our views on our comings and going all play a major part in understanding us as individuals. Knowing that a person is true to his or her beliefs, that their word is true and can be depended on is a good foundation they could stand on. Things that that would diminish a person’s integrity would be uncertainty in decision-making; lack in dependability; dishonesty; a wavering belief system; these things can be red flags when it comes to really knowing a person. Here’s what God’s Word says about integrity . . . .

“in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility.”  –  TITUS  2.7

Am I looking for perfection in individuals? No, but I am looking for positive consistency in all that he or she does and/or is doing in life. These qualities strengthens me as a person, a man of God and as a husband. I need and choose to surround myself with people who I can learn from, who can help me become more or better than I currently am. I don’t want to ever settle for just making it in life, being accepted as a mere average person who is surviving. I want to be all that God desires for me, and being around those who can help me get there is a plus in my journey to please my heavenly Father. This in turn, will be a light to others that they may desire a strong, true purpose to become more than just being a survivor as well. This will also overflow onto our jobs, in relationships, promotional opportunity, and also in developing perspectives for successful living and achievement.

Just some thoughts from a man of God who continues to pray, to encourage men and women to pursue the Lord God, Jesus Christ with all of their hearts for their purpose in life, whatever that may be, to move forward in that purpose with all power, victory and authority in Jesus’ Name. Just saying . . . .

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A Writer’s Thoughts On . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on January 12, 2016

Writer's thoughts

 

 

My Thoughts On . . . . TRANSITION.

I believe all of us are in some type of transition in our lives. It’s hard to not see others in transition with the way life presents itself. Time and time again, I see people, including myself, beginning something or starting something; going from something to something, moving forwards or moving backwards,  no matter what it is. That’s the point right there: are we moving in a direction to make the transition or are we running from it? 

Looking at recovery, which I shared about last week, that truly is a transition in life for so many people. It’s a transition of recognizing what has happened, the collateral damage it has caused and what that person needs to do about it to make things right. It’s a choice that I see, and have made myself, that I had to move from where I was in life to something better, something more conducive to a more meaningful life. I didn’t like where I was so I decided to make a change, a change that involved a transition from what my belief systems consisted of to a more clear understanding of what my purpose is. That was a process that changed me, and I don’t regret it at all! It was good for me. I counted the costs, looked at the difference this “transition” would make in my life and I can’t tell you how valuable that decision was. At first there was a fear of the challenge to change, to move from something to something else I was not sure of. But I trusted the Lord God, and He guided me with the help and comfort of those He surrounded me with to make that transition happen. To this day, I am eternally grateful to God for showing me myself and allowing me to transition into who I have become today. I wasn’t a bad person, just someone who was living a life that was not productive, not generous and certainly not considerate. But transition became a friend of mine because it helped me understand that change, moving from someone who I didn’t like to someone I love to be around and share with others. I trusted the God in the transition and in the process, and He made it all possible for transformation and renewal of mind, body and spirit. Transition can be good for all but it must be the right move, at the right time, with the right purpose.

Just some thoughts from a follower of Christ, who works with men, couples, who desire change, transition in areas of their lives where purpose and intention are the focus in their pursuit for righteousness and holiness. Just saying . . . .

 

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