Men of Redemption

Restoring a Life of Purity – One Day at a Time

Posts Tagged ‘understanding’

Today, I Will Trust God To . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on August 11, 2017

 

.  .  .  TO HELP ME GLORIFY YOU WITH THE GIFTS YOU’VE GIVEN ME.

Today, Heavenly Father God, help me lift up and glorify your name with all that you’ve blessed me with; You have given me talents, gifts, wisdom and understanding along with discernment-show O God how to use them affectively to draw others to you. Help me not be caught up in building up myself but edifying others so that they might know your Word, that they might come to relationship with you Father God and experience your love, grace and mercy like I have come to know you and even more so. Strengthen my desire to serve with gladness and a cheerful heart Lord God, that I might show myself diligent in drawing others to the kingdom of your light O God.

“For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.”  –  Romans  12:3-8 

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My Daily Devotion – DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!

Posted by Men of Redemption on July 25, 2017

START YOUR DAY OFF WITH GOD’S WORD!

Today’s Reading: Proverbs 4:1-13 . . . .

“Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, And give attention to know understanding; For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law. When I was my father’s son, Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, He also taught me, and said to me: “Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live. Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; Love her, and she will keep you. Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. Exalt her, and she will promote you; She will bring you honor, when you embrace her. She will place on your head an ornament of grace; A crown of glory she will deliver to you.” Hear, my son, and receive my sayings, And the years of your life will be many. I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, And when you run, you will not stumble. Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep her, for she is your life.

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Today, I Will Trust God . . . .

Posted by Men of Redemption on July 17, 2017

.  .  .  TO LEAD ME UNTO ALL TRUTH AND UNDERSTANDING IN ALL THAT I DO!

Today O God, I ask and pray that you lead me in the righteous ways of your Word; that in all my efforts and endeavors I might please you Lord God with my words, my thoughts, and my actions. Lord God, help me to focus on what is true, what is right in your sight, that I may be led by the Holy Spirit with guidance of truth, justice and righteousness. When you allow me to rise each morning, that you will be the first One on my mind and in my heart Father God.

“Give ear to my words, O Lord, Consider my meditation. Give heed to the voice of my cry, My King and my God, For to You I will pray. My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; In the morning I will direct it to You, And I will look up.”  –  Psalm 5: 1-3 

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WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION ON RECOVERY?

Posted by Men of Redemption on June 13, 2017

MY QUESTION IS . . . .

“I’m struggling with accountability. I know accountability is crucial to the entire process but I just can’t seem to get into the habit of calling the guys in my group when I never really called guys before. It’s always been women I’ve called. How do I get pass this?”

Understanding and relational development is the key to accountability. If you belong to a group that has strong accountability practices, and they follow through in those practices consistently, you will begin to understand why there is a need to have other men in your life with purpose. While most men were in their “mess” – (this is what we called their addictive behaviors) those of us who acted out with women, they were our initial and immediate contacts. So whenever we got the desire we’d always call women. Now that you’re in recovery, and you have made a conscious decision to allow God to change and transform your mind and heart, God will also strengthen you to understand that we need Men of God in our lives to help us, to strengthen us and to mentor us as we move forward in our recovery. We have to eradicate the desire to “run” to women when we want to act out-instead, we need to persevere and run to our brothers, Men of God, who are there for our support and guidance to help us, to prevent us from falling again to the prey of women.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”  –  Proverbs 27:17

When we begin to understand why Godly men are important to our recoveries, and God has impressed upon your heart that having that relationship with them is paramount, then you’ll see their importance in and for your life. Reaching out to other men will gradually erase, and eventually eradicate your desire to contact women for pleasure altogether because you’re going to develop purpose with these Men of God, and this is called relationship. Most men in recovery never had a brother or brothers that they could talk to or bond with on a personal level. Yeah, you have guys who you talk sports, politics and women about. But where are the men when you’re hurting or have been hurt; when you need to confide in someone over a heart issue, or when you want to talk to a brother about your struggles with addictive behaviors? Where are those guys when you really need them? Accountability helps you to develop relationship exactly for this purpose. You can get pass this by opening yourself up totally to accountability, developing relationship with Men of God who will encourage you, who will pray with and for you through your struggles and walk alongside you in your journey. That’s how you can get pass your struggle my friend.

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WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION ON RECOVERY?

Posted by Men of Redemption on June 8, 2017

MY QUESTION IS . . . .

“I’ve told a couple of my friends about my problem with sexual addiction. They tell me that it’s not a problem and that every man goes through this behavior. I don’t see anything wrong with it. So why do I need to get some help for something every man is going through but they’re not getting as well?”      

Well, if you know you have a problem already, then why are you consulting your friends and being influenced by their opinions? Didn’t mean to answer a question with a question. Bad journalism! My friend, if you know you have a problem, talk to someone who is experienced in this issue of sexual integrity. You need to understand the complexity and collateral damage this type of behavior can cause. With you thinking, and probably believing, there is nothing wrong with “A little extra curricular activity” as some might say, but the effects of this behavior haven’t really shown itself to you just yet. These behaviors can and will destroy relationships, marriages and lives. Not to mention they also can bring on severe consequences that will result in major losses in many areas such as employment, material holdings, your home, as well as financial ruin. You don’t see it now, but if you don’t get some help in understanding what addictive behaviors can do, those realistic consequences will be upon so fast you’ll never know what hit you. Right now, you’ve probably haven’t lost anything or have been affected by the behaviors. Until the behaviors are dealt with, they will most assuredly build momentum to where you’ll be convinced that there isn’t anything wrong with it. The last thing you’ll want to do is listen and be influenced by those who have no idea what you’re going through. And I bet the guys you spoke to were single with no cares in the world because they’re going to do what they want. Getting some help about your problem, since you’ve already admitted it, is crucial in you understanding the problem on the grand scale of things. Addictive behaviors can lead to illegal activities such as crime, fraud and drugs. If pornography is already in the mix, it will eventually lead to rape and everything that comes with it. So when you say you see nothing wrong with it, please understand that a lot of men and women who have been convicted of sexual crimes who started out thinking exactly like you are. Be of good courage, begin to seek out some help in getting to know everything you can about your problem, then apply that help to you own life and I will guarantee you’ll change your perspectives on how you see this issue, and probably will make adjustments accordingly. I pray, and sincerely hope you do my friend, sincerely I do!

 

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WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION ON RECOVERY?

Posted by Men of Redemption on June 5, 2017

My Question is . . . .

 

“My husband is currently in recovery working out some addictive behaviors we’ve discovered recently. I hate him for what he has done to me and our children. But I’m struggling with how do I, and how can I deal with this because I’m wondering if I did anything to bring this on. Is there help for me in understanding this?     

This is a great question and I hope there are wives reading this question because this is where so many wives are. First of all, THIS NOT IS YOUR FAULT! You didn’t cause those behaviors to happen. There was nothing you did or could’ve done to make or encourage your husband to do what he did. The reason for that is it was a choice to do what he did. Chances are your husband probably brought those behaviors into the marriage. He probably was struggling with them before he met you, and he thought either marriage or an active “sexual relationship” with you would make them go away. Knowing this now, I would encourage you to begin to seek out some mature women whom you respect and talk to them about what you have experienced with this. I will add that those mature women ought to be God-fearing women who have been through some things, maybe even what you’ve experienced, so that you could relate to their struggles and what they did to bring some understanding to their situations. Then I would suggest that you look for and seek out a strong women’s support group that ministers, supports and walks alongside you in this experience. It’s one thing to talk and share about your experiences, but after the talking is done you still need that offline support when you have to begin to move forward and face the reality of what has happened because the problem is still there. It’s not going to go away because  you still have to face what has been done until you get some understanding, as well as healing for yourself. You’re angry, hurt, betrayed, and you never saw this coming. Yes, your husband is getting the help he needs in a good support group but with you being the victim in this, you need support and encouragement to help you process it and how you need to move forward in your life and your marriage. I do want to encourage you to pray for your husband as he continues to get the help he needs. As you begin to receive your encouragement, understanding about this issue, I believe God will minister to your heart and bring that understanding as well as wisdom. It’s so easy for a wife to take to open door and say “I’m out” or “I’m done” because she would be responding out of anger. That would be the wrong thing to do. But getting some wisdom and support, and really looking at the real root of the problem together with your husband will help both of you bring the understanding to this problem, and getting the right help will help bring some resolution. It’s not going to happen over night, but when you make that decision, that choice to move in this direction it’s not going make a huge difference in your marriage, your life but also in your legacy as well.

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WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION TODAY?

Posted by Men of Redemption on June 2, 2017

MY QUESTION IS . . . .

“How do I know if I’m in the right recovery group? I’ve been to a couple different groups and it seems like they are all the same. How do I know if the one I’m going to now is the one that’s really for me?

To find out if the group that you belong to is the best for you, look for three things that will assure you that you’re in the right place: Curriculum, Group Dynamics, and Accountability.

Curriculum –

What kind of curriculum are they using for the group? There are a lot of groups out there that use various books, studies, certain programs that are geared to support group setting. But I find that having a curriculum that is designed to help you identify and understand the root causes of your issues will work best. Some curriculums work with you and take you back into your past life to help identify the introduction to addictive behaviors, trauma issues, pains, and other issues that we have allowed to infiltrate our lives and lead to destructive behaviors. See if the curriculum addresses those issues, give examples, and then show you what and how you can begin to put things in place so that you can get healing from them and move forward in your life.

Group Dynamics –

Look to see if your group has consistent protocol and high levels of confidentiality. This is very important in selecting a good group for your needs and understanding. When looking at Group Dynamics, see if the group starts on time; does the Facilitator/Director have a vision, a mission statement for the group; does the group have purpose and direction; and with the curriculum it has and uses what is it that they are preparing me for as my healing progresses when I complete the curriculum. These things play a major factor in you understanding who you are in Christ, your purpose in this life, and what is God preparing you to do when it’s time for you to leave the group.

Accountability –

This is the one thing you should be looking for first and foremost. Without Accountability, there is no success in any support group without it! Besides the curriculum and the group dynamics, you need to know and see how accountability looks and works amongst the group itself in order in order to know they have it and it’s working successfully. Is there phone calls required? Do the guys have opportunity to engage in meeting outside the group if they choose to? Can you contact someone, a group leader anytime of the day or night should you need to due to an emergency or in case you relapse? And what type of relapse prevention criteria do they have to help you stay accountable and on course? All these questions need to be answered and considered if you are serious about your recovery and moving forward in life.

So if you are unsure about the support you belong to, ask yourself these questions and see if the your present group is giving you what you’re looking for in a group. If any of these are not present, maybe it’s time you consider looking for a group that’s addressing these concerns, with consistency I might add. These three areas are so important to your recovery that attending any group without them is surely to delay, even interrupt all progress made in a person’s recovery without fail. Looking at the very first support group [Jesus and His Disciples]; they knew their Curriculum(The Living Word), Group Dynamics(Follow Him, Pray, Transparency), Accountability(Being together, talking to one another about everything), this is what you should be looking for in a support group.

 

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WHAT’S YOUR QUESTION TODAY?

Posted by Men of Redemption on May 29, 2017

MY QUESTION IS . . . .

How long is long enough to remain with a support group? I’ve been attending this one group faithfully for the last nine months and I’ve seen good progress in my life. I’ve asked my group leader how long I should stay in the group but he hasn’t given me a clear answer and I don’t want to stay in the group forever. So how long should I remain in the group if my progression shows I’m doing well?

This is one of the most consistent questions that is asked from every man going into support group setting. Even before they put their hands on the curriculum they’re going to use, even before they attend their first group meeting. And believe me, this is something every group leader knows and expects from first time arrivals to their groups. I try to share with the guys that this should not be a question that hovers at the front of their minds. You see, your emphasis is already on the end when you haven’t even began the group. We want that energy, that focus to be centered and enforced at the beginning of your journey to recovery. It’s not about how long should you stay, it’s about what are getting out of the group, it’s curriculum and it’s accountability efforts that making a difference in your life. Your group should be impacting your life on extreme levels so that your life is changing, transforming and evolving into the creative design that God created you to be. If the group has influenced your perspective on life, helped you identify who you are in Christ, and you are walking in healing daily and consistently, chances are that leaving or concerns about leaving won’t be at the forefront of your mind or heart. If God has, and is doing what you’ve been praying for, you’ll not want to concern yourself about leaving but what and how you can invite another brother to come and receive what you have received. When you have received and are walking in your healing, I’ve known guys to not want to leave but stay and help the group, become a part of the leadership team, or even take the program they’ve just completed to their church and start a group there. So it depends on what you’re expecting to achieve when you complete the curriculum. Even more importantly, it’s about what God is saying to you or speaking to you about and what He wants you to do when you complete the program. Don’t base your success on how well you think or believe you’re doing but what is God saying to you and what He wants you to do. God has purpose for each and every one of us, and His thoughts and ways are far above ours(Isaiah 55:8), so finished the program or curriculum, and while you’re doing that continue to pray and ask God what it is that He wants you to do when you’ve completed it. You might be surprised at the answer. I surely was!!

 

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My Daily Devotion – DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!

Posted by Men of Redemption on May 8, 2017

START YOUR DAY OFF WITH GOD’S WORD!

Today’s Reading:

Proverbs 3:1-26 . . . .

“My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine. My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. By wisdom the Lord laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place; by his knowledge the watery depths were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew. My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.”

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My Daily Devotion – DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!

Posted by Men of Redemption on May 4, 2017

START YOUR DAY OFF WITH GOD’S WORD!

Today’s Reading:

Psalm 103:1-22 . . . .

“Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord executes righteousness And justice for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. For the wind passes over it, and it is gone, And its place remembers it no more. But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting On those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To such as keep His covenant, And to those who remember His commandments to do them. The Lord has established His throne in heaven, And His kingdom rules over all. Bless the Lord, you His angels, Who excel in strength, who do His word, Heeding the voice of His word. Bless the Lord, all you His hosts, You ministers of His, who do His pleasure. Bless the Lord, all His works, In all places of His dominion. Bless the Lord, O my soul!”

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