“I’m Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired”

I remember not too long ago when I was going through my seasons of confusion and addictive behaviors, I began to hate what I was doing. I knew what I was doing was wrong but still continued therein. My behavior wasn’t helping anybody but myself, and that help was self-serving to say the least. I remember people saying to me . . . “Is that all you think about is yourself?” I didn’t care. I wouldn’t listen to the voices of reason because I thought I knew what was best for me. But deep within myself I had admitted “I can’t keep doing what I’m doing. I hate these desires of lust and immoral behavior. I’m sick and tired of it!” The battle within me raged on for years. I was in denial and didn’t want to face the reality of it because basically, I really didn’t know how to. There was a sense of fear of those around me knowing what I was doing would not accept me for who I really was. I believed there were people like me, those that only cared about themselves and no one else.

So I continued in isolation and kept on doing what I was doing. Then the behavior increased, and the stakes became even more dangerous. I didn’t want to go down that road because having my eyes open to just seeing where the end would take me was frightening. I came to a crisis of truth and said to myself “I’m tired of this mess. I’m sick of this! I’ve got to stop living like this before I end up in jail or dead. I’m so sick of this!” My erratic behavior affected my marriage and family life for all the wrong reasons. Change was needed and needed fast. This was when I realized something had to change. I got face-down on my knees and asked God to help me. After taking a step of faith and trusting God, and the full participation of a strong supportive wife and daughters coming along side of me, we were able to move in the direction of totally being set free. It was difficult, but if I was really sick and tired of my “mess” I would be willing to do whatever it took to reach that goal of being free from the strongholds of this life. I committed myself to moving forward in that direction. The rest, my friends, is a testimony of victory, fulfillment of joy and peace.

During that season of struggles I never really “enjoyed” what I was doing. It was all a façade to give the appearance of being successful. Deep inside my heart I always wanted to do what was right, but when I wasn’t having the success I truly desired, I remained in denial of my true feelings and ambitions. It was years before anyone ever knew my heart and what I was really about. But I was sick and tired of that life and made a conscious decision to get the help I needed because I wanted it for me, and then for my marriage and family. With the help of my wife, the strong encourager that she is, we came together and sought out the help and support that was needed. We found it, and I began to apply it to my life.
I joined a support group that really influenced my life with truth, and that truth was in the Word of God. And one of the books that helped me understand what I was going through was Psalm. In Psalm 51:1-3 it showed me that . . .

“Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your loving kindness; according to the multitude of Your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.”

The sin of my behavior and the denial of that sin were reigning in my life more than God was. My iniquity and transgressions were more prevalent during that time. I had to stop where I was in life, confess, accept responsibility for my sin, and ask God for His forgiveness. That’s when my life began to change and proceed in the right direction because now, my steps were being ordered of the Lord (Psalm 37:23).

Every man who has dealt with these and other traumatic symptoms rooted in sin will eventually get to the point where he is sick and tired of being sick and tired. If you haven’t reached that point yet, you will, trust me! And as long as you remain in denial, believing you can handle it, that you have it all under control, you’re only deceiving yourself my friend. I learned that in God’s Word . . .

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”(Ephesians 6:12)

In gaining understanding of this verse, this is a spiritual battle that you, me, or anyone else can’t win on our on. We need the divine intervention of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! He is the only answer to these and other problems that influence our lives that depend on worldly living. If we continue to live our lives based on what everyone else is telling us, no matter how intelligent they may appear, we are only being deceived. As men of God who have serious problems, we need to come back to our first love, Jesus Christ. Stop being sick and tired of being sick and tired, and make a conscious decision to do something about it! Step out of that denial stage in your life and seek help immediately. Further delays will only deepen you struggles to depths you won’t be able to escape out of.
If you are struggling, desperate, and desire help, but denial has you ensnared, contact me and Men of Redemption would love to help, guide and walk along side you in this journey of recovery. You can reach us at http://www.menofredemption040709@hotmail.com.
Be blessed, take a step of faith, and quit being sick and tired of being sick and tired. Help is here if you really want it. I pray that you do my friends.